You know the saying, “bad things come in threes”? Well, recently I’ve been thinking that bad things come in a series of 12, maybe (unlucky)13. Let me take you back to about a month ago…
Our front loading, fancy pants, washing machine decided that it was time to take a break. Not wanting to spend a ridiculous amount of money, we looked up you tube tutorials, consulted the manual, and did our best to figure out a way to fix our existing washing machine. My lovely husband, as amazing as he is, is a self-proclaimed NOT handy man. After running what had to be 33 different “code tests” (did you know a washing machine had an infinite amount of error codes? I sure as heck didn’t), we thought we had the solution, ordered the part, and waited for it to come in. After installing the part, we ran the initial test and (drumroll) it didn’t work. Four phone calls, 3 days, and $300 later, we found the correct part and got the washing machine fixed. Shout out to my mom for doing my laundry for a week. Nothing like a broken washing machine to make you feel 15 again!
Roughly four days later came Christmas Day. While packing to go to my in law’s, we entered our basement storage room to find a puddle of water on the floor surrounding our hot water heater, water softener, and furnace. It was unclear where the water was coming from, so we called a plumber to come and check it out and contemplated not heading out of town for the weekend. Thank goodness for my dad being willing to stay behind and keep an eye on the situation! It was determined that we were in need of a new hot water heater, so we gave them the go ahead.
One week later, we were about to head back to my in law’s house for yet another Christmas celebration. I went back to the same storage room to find it entirely flooded. Water had gotten to everything- boxes of clothes my children had outgrown, fall decorations, extra bedding and rugs, even beneath the flooring of the finished part of our basement. We determined that our sewer had backed up, causing Derek to head out to check the filter. It was completely caked with flushable wipes. FLUSHABLE WIPES ARE IN FACT NOT FLUSHABLE. After clearing the filter and putting fans on every possible surface, we were on the road again.
While home-owner struggles were frustrating, we were encountering some pretty intense emotional struggles at work as well. Our small district has found itself in a budgetary mess just 2 years after passing a referendum to expand and improve our facilities. Now, we are facing the possibility of staff being cut, pay freezes, potential loss of students to open enrollment, an impending operational referendum, and a tax base that feels that they have been lied to. Given that Derek and I both work in the district, this situation is one that is near and dear to us. Since we work in my hometown, the town that we now live in, I have known many of the most vocal community members for the majority of my life. Facebook has become a place where people go to vent out their frustrations, placing blame on various people, all of which I know and am connected to. Words and accusations have been thrown out with little thought as to who they are hurting- often times wounding people they aren’t intended to. I fear for my co-workers, I fear for my children, I fear for my family, I fear for our town. Yes, I am aware that things can always get worse. My loved ones are healthy. I have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, and a pantry stocked with food. These blessings are not lost on me. However, the weight of uncertainty is a pressure that is difficult to overcome.
Okay, enough with the doom and gloom. After reading all of that, you probably think that my husband and are in a state of “poor me”. Well, you’re not completely wrong. Over the past few days, in between thoughts of quitting my job and moving to a cabin in the mountains somewhere, I have been trying to focus my attention on strategies to find the joy in moments of turmoil. It is very easy in this age of social media and connectedness to feel the opposite- completely disconnected. In reality, having direct, instant access to the thoughts and opinions of others can leave us feeling all the feels. The following strategies have helped me navigate the last two months- the most uncertainty I have felt since COVID, a time where it constantly felt like murder hornets were going to make their comeback.
Take a Moment to Acknowledge the Chaos
I will not sit here and tell you that blind optimism is the answer. The facts are the facts. We had to spend a lot of money on a limited salary on things that didn’t directly improve our way of life. Our jobs and our children’s educational future are uncertain. These facts don’t just go away with the choice to be blissfully ignorant to the weight of the situation. Throughout the past two months, Derek and I have had very real conversations about the gravity of our financial situation. By putting the specifics of the situations out there, some of the emotional weight was lifted from my shoulders. I knew that I did not have to bare the burden of these hardships on my own. This also allowed me to narrow down the things that are causing me stress. If you have a hard time doing this on your own, I recommend journaling daily and looking at trends. If creating visuals appeals to you, a bullet journal may be a great creative outlet that will also allow you recognize trends. The one that I have linked here is one of my favorite options that comes with pretty markers to make it more fun! Five minutes of careful reflection may be all it takes to calm your mind and focus your attention on things that you can change to improve your situation.
Unplug… No, Actually Put Down the Dang Phone.
When reading the intro to this post, you may have noticed that many of my stressors came from things that others were posting and sharing online. I became obsessed with seeing what misinformation was out there, who was posting it, and then going over all the negative outcomes in my mind. It doesn’t take a professional to recognize that this was unhealthy. Indulging in this urge before trying to lay my head on the pillow caused my thoughts to spiral and my sleep schedule to suffer. To combat this, I suggest taking a page from my husband’s book. He moved his Facebook App to the last application page on his phone, making it not as easily accessible during the impulsivities of boredom. In addition, he sets his “Do not disturb” mode to kick in at 8:00pm. If you have a certain social media site that seems to be filled with toxicity, consider removing yourself from that site. If you are like me, and suffer from FOMO, you may want to consider deactivating the account on a temporary basis. Set your phone in another room and focus your attention on the people with you at the moment. Your company, your nerves, and your mind will thank you.
Surround Yourself with Marigolds
If this analogy is unfamiliar to you, I highly recommend reading “Beware of the Walnut Trees”. While I am blessed to have countless amazing co-workers, through the uncertainty of the last few weeks I have noticed that some are better for my mental health than others. I have actively changed where I eat lunch and who I choose to spend worktime with. This has allowed me to stay away from some of the noise and stabilize my mindset.
Indulge in an Activity that Brings you Joy
Yup. This one is all about you. I will not pretend that this is easy. In fact, this might be the most difficult one to accomplish! Finding “you” time can be extremely difficult but I am here to tell you that it is so important. Get your nails done. Buy the $6 coffee. Have the glass of wine. Read that book that’s been on your TBR forever. Some weeks, the only alone time I can squeeze in is grocery shopping by myself so you bet your butt that I crank my favorite True Crime podcast (Hellooooo Morbid!), grab a Starbucks, and spend a little extra time in the seasonal section at Target.
Move your Body.
I have never gone for a walk or completed a lifting session and regretted it afterward. There are many times that I have had to talk myself into showing up, but I am always happy that I did. Bonus points if your movement occurs outside! Fresh air is good for the soul! I track my workouts on an app called Train Heroic, and it allows me to customize my workouts and log my progress. The app also includes tutorials for lifts that I may not be familiar with. This prevents me from showing up to a session with no idea what to do (i.e. getting frustrated and going home).
Does Any of This Resonate With You?
What strategies do you use that help you rise above the stress of unexpected times? What strategies from above are you going to try? Let me know in the comments!